Avoid pit to early, elementary school parents must know to accompany children to write homework 4 big mistakes
This article is excerpted from the previous small class “accompany children to write homework – small details reveal great wisdom” part of the content.Under the double reduction, many schools teaching did not grasp “degree”, frequently struck mines.If this is true of professionals, parents who are not professionals don’t know what to do.Is the child’s study managed or neglected?Yes, of course it is.But the method is important.I will use the next three articles for you to sort out “primary school parents how to accompany their children to study”.In this article, we will talk about some common mistakes in studying with children.Misunderstanding 1: “practice makes perfect”, in order to get high marks to force children to brush the question anxiety, now many parents are a little bit can not see their children play.Once they find that their children are not studying and have a little more free time, they will try to find all kinds of extra homework to fill their time.Parents believe that practice makes perfect, and learning means doing lots of exercises to master the knowledge.In fact, this method is not scientific.Parents are not professional educators, plus many parents do not know enough about their children’s learning shortcomings.If you just listen to others’ recommendation or buy exercise books online for children to do, it can not be targeted to solve children’s learning problems, and most of the last is a psychological comfort.In addition, parental anxiety can cause us to magnify our children’s learning problems.As long as the child does not score 100, the parents always feel that there is something to be desired.In fact, some mistakes are not the child’s learning attitude, nor is the child’s learning ability as good as other students, but a normal phenomenon in the process of physical and mental development.For example, many children in the first and second grades of primary school can write left and right, B and D, P and Q.No matter how you teach them, children will be wrong.Parents think their children are careless and not serious, but in fact, this is related to the fact that the children of young age are not strong enough to distinguish the spatial position of graphics and characters.The condition usually doesn’t get better until after age 9, and a few children can’t fully distinguish between right and left until age 12.Therefore, at the normal pace of a child’s mental development, parents need to understand and tolerate their child’s problems and avoid rushing to the hospital.If parents constantly give their children extra homework, children will not feel the sense of achievement in completing academic tasks and will increasingly see homework as a burden.In order to let parents less homework, some children also developed the bad habit of “deliberately dawdling”.It’s more than worth it.More importantly, primary schools focus on basic knowledge education, excessive brush is easy to solidify children’s thinking.Thinking development is limited, but easy to keep up with school in high school.Professor Li Meijin once mentioned in a talk show that if children want to grow up stronger, they need to teach them frustration from an early age.Desensitization of children to frustration.If you didn’t experience anything when you were young, when you grow up, it’s easy to fail.It struck a chord with many parents.Many parents want to, now the child is really too fragile, to be a bit of frustration then from me here to start!Some parents believe that the child is “beat” out, the children have to control to let them study well.So, accompany children to write homework, we most commonly see the scene is the parents while staring at their children to write homework, while angry, scold or even beat the child.Is this what Professor Lee wants to say?To be sure, such parents misinterpret What Lee meant.As I mentioned in a previous post, rational thought cannot be initiated when one is in the grip of emotion.With all their emotions focused on defending themselves against the threat posed by their parents, the child has a hard time focusing on solving the problem itself.Moreover, the child was scolded and beaten as soon as he wrote his homework, which is also easy to make the child form a conditioned reflex, more resistant to writing homework, and even self-denial.There’s a viral video online about a young girl who has trouble remembering her multiplication tables.One mistake, mother began to scold.The little girl cried and carried, and finally broke down, crying out “Three five…Four or five…Five five, too difficult, I am stupid, back won’t ah!”Yelling doesn’t solve problems, it’s just an emotional outlet.When parents feel annoyed, try to find some way to divert their attention.Deep breathing, listening to music, getting out of the house for a walk, or calling a friend to talk are all great ways to calm down.Parents teach their children to ultimately find the root of the problem.For example, if the child does not concentrate and plays while doing homework, parents should think about how to help the child reduce distractions and exercise the child’s ability to concentrate.Parents talk to children, how to say, children do not understand, it is necessary to reduce the requirements of children, to find a way to use children understand the method to explain the topic.In another case, of course, the root of the problem lies with the parents.For example, pupils copy pupils’ words.There were more than ten words and the teacher asked to copy them twice.Children in grade one and grade two often write for half an hour. Parents feel that children write slowly and consume time.He was very angry.In fact, the child’s hand small muscle group is not fully developed, writing speed will be slow.And children’s attention span is usually only 15-20 minutes, once this time, will feel tired.It’s natural for children to want to stop and rest.At this point, if parents do not understand these truths, it is easy to wrong children, but also can not solve the problem.Misconception three: From the task to the method, the children arranged “clearly” in life, we must have seen such a type of parents.To support your child’s learning.The child began to write homework, parents help children from the bag out of a variety of textbooks and exercise books, the teacher left the homework list, one guide children to write.When children do their homework, their parents help them pack their bags and check their stationery.Children do what homework first, and then complete what tasks, need to achieve what requirements, how much time, are well arranged.In addition, parents also make plans for their children, ranging from years of planning to small monthly and weekly tasks that are detailed and specific.It’s as if the child just needs to keep doing the questions and doesn’t care about anything else.Gradually, we will find that such children will do their homework halfheartedly and their accuracy will be greatly reduced once they leave their parents’ arrangement.Because they are used to doing what their parents tell them to do.Homework is a very good opportunity for children to independently deal with complex tasks, from overall arrangement to executive ability to summary ability, time management ability, will be exercised.But because parents control the details of their children’s homework too much, they lose a good opportunity to exercise these skills.The famous philosopher Fromm said, “The opposite of education is manipulation.Out of a lack of faith in the growth of a child’s potential, it believes that only adults know what children should and should not do.It’s not really education.”As parents, we have an obligation to make a plan for our children’s lives, but it should be based on their own abilities and needs, rather than what they want to impose on their children.Children’s learning is not just about learning book knowledge and writing homework carefully, but to give children a certain amount of time and space, so that children have the opportunity to experience life, through efforts to explore more interesting things.Excessive control of children is a constraint for children, but will restrict their personality development and intellectual development.Rousseau, a French enlightenment thinker, once proposed an educational method called “natural consequences method”.It basically means that children learn from their mistakes and learn from them to improve themselves by experiencing the negative consequences of their mistakes.For example, the child did not finish the homework, parents do not have to urge, let the child face the next day the teacher’s inspection and punishment.Children do not want to spend a lot of time in checking homework, it is necessary to write homework seriously, carefully, less mistakes, less rework.In this way, the effect will be even better.This type of parent is the opposite of the situation mentioned above.They believe that homework should be done by children themselves, with teachers in school responsible for teaching and correcting homework, and should not be left to parents.Some parents will cite their own example and say, “When I was young, my parents never supervised my study. Didn’t I go to college?”Some parents think that not interfering with their children’s study, regardless of their children’s homework, is conducive to the development of children’s independence.It’s a more advanced way of education.In fact, it is not reasonable to ignore it completely.A principal teacher in a school usually has two classes of children, that is to say, he has to take care of 100 children.This configuration determines that the school’s educational methods must be universal.If children have obvious shortcomings in a certain aspect of learning, or their learning habits are not good, their writing is not standard, they forget things, and there are many mistakes, parents can find them in time and try to solve them, it will be more conducive to children’s progress.Parents are right in wanting to cultivate their children’s independence.But since the use of the word “training”, it shows that this is not a simple laissez-faire children, children need to consciously guide and training.In this way, children can have the ability to complete tasks independently.Any child’s growth is gradually from “other control” to “self-control”.For example, the first grade children often write backward strokes, holding the pen posture is not accurate, which not only affects the speed of writing, but also affects the appearance of handwriting.Parents in this period to give timely attention, correction and guidance, 1-2 months can significantly improve the standardization of children’s writing.Some children are easy to zone out on their homework.If parents tell children the truth and rules clearly from the beginning of primary school, children will always keep good habits.On the contrary, if the parents ignore the process of companionship and do not find these problems, the children will hardly be aware of their own problems and have no ability to correct them.In senior years, small problems solidify into bad habits, which can be difficult to change.In the end, combined with the fourth misunderstanding, we are aimed at parents how to accompany their children to study, a simple summary.For the first and second grade children in the early stages of learning habits, parents’ personal companionship is very necessary.As children grow up, parents need to gradually let go of tasks they are capable of doing on their own.Entering the senior grade of primary school, children’s learning habits are basically formed, and parents basically do not need to accompany their children to study by themselves, but more guidance on thinking and personality education.By the time a child enters middle school, parental influence in a child’s life is further diminished.At the same time, the child is entering puberty, and there is nothing the parents can do about it.I’m Mother Morse. I was in 985. I was a gold collar.She’s a boss and an active practitioner of parenting.I use code words to record my own growth and that of my children.Original is not easy, like my article, please click attention, forward!In order to reward the fans, Mors Mother open a large number of English enlightenment songs, games (preschool), picture books, national Geographic children’s Encyclopedia for free.If you need to follow me, SMS “National Geographic” or “song” or “picture book”.